before whisky after jazz

Dreamers Writing has just published three of my poems: ‘Smooth Horseback and Plenty’, ‘Background’, and ‘Bracelets’.

Take a look here:

https://www.dreamerswriting.com/stories-poems/siobhan-tebbs/

 

 

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2 thoughts on “before whisky after jazz

  1. Congrats for your beautifully crafted poems as always. You are very talented and deserve further publication. So glad to have met you. I have enjoyed the three poems but the first is… wow, breathtaking! Love the combination of words in the two opening lines with the compounds in -ing forms and, suddenly, bang! the break into the “black hole” already announcing the increasing emotional intensity that will follow to the climax. Also, I love the way you increase tension in the coming lines with sudden short breaks combined with the gradual scale from “none of her ropes could hold it together”, “too risky”, “stamping boxes”, etc. I wonder about the latter as the image seems to suggest limiting one’s own freedom as boxes are something closed. You feel trapped in them. Freedom could be symbolised by the “rainbow-coloured paths”, where you later stress “not have my rainbow-paths not stamp away”. The she-person of the poem limits the I-person’s freedom. She has “fences” that “bordered her field”. Therefore, this could be interpreted as not letting the I-person trespass the limits, which is not what a horse wanting to run free would do (hence the image of the horse?). The animal would jump over the fence.

    “card-
    board”

    written this way acquires multiple meanings. The word per se suggests fragility and the separation of this compound with a hyphen generates a new connotation: a board of cards like a game of fate. What will happen next?

    And finally, the maximum climax is reached with “my stomach in knots”, “she filed me away “, “heartbreak”, “scarecrow”… Wow, this is incredibly so well written! I like all the images connected to agriculture: “harvest” as in “i harvested the eye-sparkle”, “dancing on haystacks” suggesting fragility, something about to break as this relationship between the “I-person” of the poem (curiously the “i” written small as if the person felt belittled by the other) and the she-person.

    The “indigo-violet body” is also very interesting here where violet often becomes associated with women, feminity, and indigo with spirituality, wisdom, deepest thoughts, as if the I-person is in search of all this. (source: https://www.buildingbeautifulsouls.com/symbols-meanings/color-psychology-symbolism-meanings/what-does-the-color-indigo-mean/)

    Dear Siobhan, I do not know if this is a correct interpretation of your first poem, but I have perceived it this way. Please, correct me if I am wrong. Thank you so much for sharing such beautiful pieces of yours!

    Liked by 1 person

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